Monday, September 3, 2012

Just Saying...

               Nobody told me that if I've reached my late twenties almost everybody would be nagging me in getting into a relationship. From my siblings, relatives, colleagues, acquaintances and tormentors of them all are my friends. At any given chance they will remind me of it. Cupid must be threaten by them 'cause they will draw arrows with every men they can see or meet just for me to have a pair. I don't know if I would be grateful or be annoyed of what they are doing but as the day goes by I developed the immunity. If only as easy as 1,2,3, all I have to do is to choose from their list.
               I ain't no princess and I'm not looking for prince charming nor a knight in shining armor. All I want is someone that won't make me check the mirror every now and then, someone who won't let go of my hands, someone who'd be willing to embrace my pasts and who's brave enough to grow old with me. The catch is, he shouldn't be younger than me. Eyebrows raised? Can't blame you. This criteria of mine brought me to a lot of discussions and even arguments.
               Maybe because I was convinced that men develops their level of emotional maturity later than women. I don't know if there's a scientific evidence for this but it could be true based on stories and testimonies I've heard from other people but I'm open to the idea that they aren't. Some say we just have different interest from each other so we misunderstood men as childish. As I'm writing, I'm trying to look for a better definition of "maturity" that would convince me that men are really behind women in terms of it but I can't find one. So let me define maturity in layman's term. It is the ability of one person to decide, judge or perceive things independently in timely manner. I might be misguided but I think most men don't have that unless they are past their 30's :). 
               Aside from the above idea, I guess being the eldest was the greatest factor why I prefer men not less than my age. I was expected though not oblige to take good care of my younger siblings. I have to make sure that they are always okay and I got this feeling that their future lies on my hand. This has been the set-up until recently where I can say I've done my part and it's time for them to spread their own wings and discover what was prepared for them. Just now I realized how tired I am caring for someone else (no offense meant for my siblings...they know how much I love them). All I'm trying to say is, I guess it's time for me to upkeep myself. I recognize that getting into a relationship would be one of the inevitable part of it and engaging myself to a man younger than me is like to me baby sitting my younger brother. That idea sucks! All I want is someone who would reciprocate or better yet do more than anything that I do. From the care, love, attention, affectionate, etc... All I want is someone who can unleash the devil in me and I have this fright that a man younger than me can't do it unless someone would prove me wrong. I want a friend, a partner not a brother...
               In contradictory to all I have said, I believe that love is a learned feeling. All it takes is time. No criteria, no buts, no ifs 'cause you can't say no to destiny. It's just like fitting a ring. If it's not your perfect size then only two things will happen. Either you'll lost it or struggle in pain just to fit in in your finger.

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